Nov 7th, 2012 by Jennifer Lynn
A recent quibble between me and M.:
M.: (pops open cellophane package of a tiny satchel of peanuts)
me: (glancing at receipt, crumpled on car dash) Oh my jesus, did you just spend ten dollars on peanuts?
M.: Huh?
me: This receipt shows you just bought peanuts from that store.
M.: Mmmhmm, was hungry, and shit, these are good.
me: It says, ten dollars! On peanuts? That’s fucking ridiculous.
M.: It’s not my fault you don’t appreciate my gourmet nuts.
me: And this is why you are never allowed to go shopping alone again.
Is your significant other a spender or a saver?
I presume the majority of my readers are typically pretty money smart, but what about your significant others? How does your partner view consumerism, savings and finance, and how does it mesh with your values?
M. definitely likes to splurge and, although he will take care of all necessities first, he is more inclined to be a spender in our relationship. Not an over-spender, mind you; he doesn’t, for example, haphazardly rack up unnecessary debt. But if there are a few bucks in his pocket, chances are it will melt away quicker than ice cream squatting in hell. Alternatively I am a rabid saver that will only buy the bare minimum, and I experience frequent buyer’s remorse over everything.
Actually it’s quite nice sometimes because M. and I are very open about communicating our expectations and therefore tend to balance each other out, as opposed to clashing over these differing viewpoints. This is beneficial to putting our financial habits into perspective when we work as a team, instead of making our differences a frictional bone of contention: I tame his wanton spending tendencies, and, in return, he makes me less of a pinch-penny miser.
What about you—are you the spender or saver in your relationship and how do you and your partner manage financial discrepancies?
=^..^=
Related posts:
We're both savings, although we have both been known to purge spend and then go back to our thrifty ways. We'd probably be better off if we could find some balance, but hey, no one's perfect!
I'm the saver, he's the spender for sure…we agree on all purchases before they're made (anything over like 20 bucks) but he spends wayy more than me. He'd buy the nuts and not care lol.
We're both savers. We were on the same page, for the most, when we got married but my wife was more of a spender. I think I've trained her well though, because she now hates spending more than I do.
Hahahaha. Sounds like a convo that would happen in our house. He's not out of control, though. And I'm ridiculously rigid in what I'll spend on. Like…ridiculously. So I think we balance each other out perfectly. I learn how to live every once in a while and his spending doesn't get out of control. (I'm making him sound like an irresponsible human being, but he's not. He's a spender only compared to my craziness.)
He is DEFINITELY a spender!
Haha! "It's not my fault you don't enjoy my gourmet nuts". I'm also a pervert. Ha!
The part where I lost it: "It’s not my fault you don’t appreciate my gourmet nuts." Of course, L. Bee would notice the same line….
LOL!!! Mr. BFS and I had a similar conversation last year when he decided to spend $8 on a tiny bunch of seedless grapes when they were out of season. But overall, he is a solid balance of a saver and a spender. He makes sure we are saving for our goals before he splurges but he splurges more frequently than me…
Hilarious! Are the nuts really that bad? Haha. I'm the saver, she's definitely the spender, but she looks for the best deal possible which helps. We balance each other or else I wouldn't have any fun because I would be too busy saving!
I used to date a spender and I'll tell you it sucked because she wasn't on the same page as me when it came to finances.I'd work my tail off and she would spend, go to pubs drinking, partying with her mates, clothes you name it. I'm not saying you can't have fun but there's a point where you need to grow up and start looking at finances. No, thanks. I love to save my money to pay cash for what I need to do. I'm not big on using credit. Mrs.CBB on the other hand is likely worse than I am a saver so we clicked! It made a HUGE difference to our finances when we both had an understanding of where we wanted to be, what we wanted to save and why.. we set goals and they work for us. Cheers Mr.CBB
He's a spender, but he's also a good saver. I think I'm just an ultra-saver so in comparison I think he's a big spender.
My SO is definitely a saver. It was a quality I actually looked for because of how many relationships and marriages are destroyed by money. I know how I am with it, so I knew I needed to be with someone like me.
lol, you're funny. I think I got lucky in this department. Greg is a super saver….he will have a 5 dollar bill in his wallet for months! He was always poor in college and has yet to realize that he makes real money now. I hope it stays that way =)
My wife used to be a chronic spender when I first met her. Fortunately she saw the error of her ways and now she is as good a saver as I am.
I hope they were the best peanuts ever!
I am a saver now!!!
10 bucks for peanuts! cRaZy
I am more of a saver for sure, but I don't think my hubby would spend $10 for "gourmet nuts"
Like yours, my BF is wise with money but loves to splurge on things that I don't always agree on, then he calls me cheap, then we fight, then neither of us enjoy the money spent. So I have learnt to let it go, smile, don't think about the freakin ridiculous amount of money that he just dropped on whatever our shared account bought, and enjoy it. It is usually nice. Come on, weren't those nuts tasty?
@Mandy, 'purge splurge', love it. Sounds like overall you and Hubs have a great grasp over things.
@Catherine, yep, that pretty much sums up our dynamic, too.
@John S., so it is possible to reign in and convert an unruly spender!
@Femmefrugality, yep, I find I can stop being such a ninnyhammer and partake in and enjoy some of M.'s occasional devilish splurges. And I do appreciate his fresh perspective on things, which helps lighten me the 'eff up.
@Michelle, LOL, you uttered that so emphatically.
@Lauren and Average Joe, sniggle, sniggle, snort. (Oh. You guys.)
@Crystal, tee-hee, hope the grapes were scrumptious. And it sounds like Mr. BFS has a good woman at his side (that will beat him profusely for getting off track.)
@Buck Inspire, as it is with me. I'd never have a darn lick of fun without someone swaying me to the dark side every now and again.
@Mr. CBB, I am so sorry to hear that. M. will make ridiculous purchases with his own 'fun' money so I can snicker about it without terrible repercussion, but having someone drain you like that, or be dishonest/ irresponsible with finances, is quite a toxic situation. In the circumstances you presented, I would be furious and ditch the loser for someone willing to be a financial teammate. Glad for the happy ending, aka Mrs. CBB!
@Mo', sounds like the perfect blending. Keep that man around!
@Money Smart Guides, I am glad you found a companion with a lick of financial sense to complement your values. Good scouting, sir!
@Holly, LOL, too cute. That one is certainly a keeper. Do dust bunnies form in his wallet?
@Glen, we both sat and scarfed down the itty-bitty package in companionable silence for a moment. Best. Nuts. Ever. <— sounds so wrong, haha. Seems like you have a lovely lady. Another novitiate of saving! Ye gods, there is hope.
@Debtgirl, yay, SO proud of the strides you have been making.
@Kim, glad to hear your Hubs tends to have more sense than mine!
@Pauline, very diplomatic of you. And, they were absolutely delicious. Not something I would've bought personally, but he generously shared them.
Thank you all for the lovely responses. It was cool to catch a glimpse of the financial dynamics in your dearest(?) relationships.
[...] how good my wife is at saving. It was by Jenna at Broke Ass Mommy and the post is titles (Is Your Significant Other A Spender Or A Saver?). Go read and imagine how good those peanuts [...]
[...] Is Your Significant Other A Spender Or A Saver? on Broke-Ass Mommy [...]
I can be both. But you're a practical thinker. Honestly, I'd rather be the saver…Who would not want to be saving money anyway? It pays to be smart!
The bf and I are both savers. We sometimes disagree on what's necessary and how we should spend, but as of now it's OK because we both have separate finances and feel good about our contributions to joint ventures (our house mainly).
[...] Broke-Ass Mommy-Is Your Significant Other a Spender or a Saver? [...]
[...] Lynn @ Broke-Ass Mommy writes Is Your Significant Other A Spender Or A Saver? – When I first heard the phrase (work smarter, not harder), I dismissed it as business jargon [...]
[...] Lynn @ Broke-Ass Mommy writes Is Your Significant Other A Spender Or A Saver? – When I first heard the phrase (work smarter, not harder), I dismissed it as business jargon [...]
[...] Lynn @ Broke-Ass Mommy writes Is Your Significant Other A Spender Or A Saver? – When I first heard the phrase (work smarter, not harder), I dismissed it as business jargon [...]
[...] Make sure to prepare for all of these unexpected costs.Jennifer Lynn @ Broke-Ass Mommy writes Is Your Significant Other A Spender Or A Saver? – When I first heard the phrase (work smarter, not harder), I dismissed it as business jargon [...]
[...] Lynn @ Broke-Ass Mommy writes Is Your Significant Other A Spender Or A Saver? – When I first heard the phrase (work smarter, not harder), I dismissed it as business jargon [...]
[...] Lynn @ Broke-Ass Mommy writes Is Your Significant Other A Spender Or A Saver? – When I first heard the phrase (work smarter, not harder), I dismissed it as business jargon for [...]
[...] Is Your Significant Other A Spender or a Saver? – Another great example of the dynamic finances play in a relationship and how to handle them. [...]